It is the first free week end I have had in a long time. The sun is shining – another perfect day in Brunswick. To accompany my morning cup of coffee, I took out Sasha Graham’s 365 spreads book. The book is full of inspiring spreads that I adapt and customize (my copy is full of notes and stickers).
This spread though, needs no modification. The limiting belief spread delves deep into that 8 of Swords feeling. What are the thoughts that limit you? In the Golden Tarot, the woman stands in a cold, harsh, but beautiful landscape. Being trapped in one’s own beliefs can be beautifully reassuring and comfortable. The link that ties her is thin and light – it doesn’t feel like bondage, it’s almost an embrace. The 8 can therefore represent a healthy, protective attitude – but also a damaging, entrapped mindset.
I know I’m getting in my own way. I’m highly-strung, and in the last few weeks I have been feeling immensely stressed, far away from myself, crumbling. This week has been an improvement (some help from Death and the Empress). I am back to my old self, but to make sure the changes are long-lasting I need some advice from the Tarot.
My chosen limiting belief is: “I can’t do this because I care about the opinion of others”. I somehow subconsciously believe that other people’s opinion of me matters more than what I think about myself. I have struggled with this belief for a while – 5 years ago I came to terms with my queerness and gave a healthy f**** you to the world. Now, the same problem arises with Tarot and my spiritual life. I find it extremely hard to mention it to my friends and colleagues, for fear of judgement.
1. Why do I believe this to be true.
Why would I believe other people’s opinion of me a is more important than my own? The Chariot reminds me of the energy that I put into accomplishing all my projects, a real drive, reining in my light and dark instincts, my creative and intellectual sides. Sometimes I do get scared that if I change my beliefs and attitude, success will no longer be mine. If people don’t approve of me, will I have as many career opportunities, as many friends? Success and seeking approval have come hand in hand in my life, creating a fake correlation. Although I consciously know that I can stand for myself and still do well, somehow the message hasn’t quite sank in to my unconscious. This is a deeply lodged belief.
2. What would happen if it weren’t true.
The World. WOW. I am getting in my own way. If I could shed this belief, the World would be my oyster – I could combine the energy of air, fire, water, and earth. I love the World card in the Golden Tarot. The lady seems at peace and she is protecting children. Her self-fulfillment streams from helping others, giving back to the World. This is something that I strive for. When I can’t stand up for myself, I know I can stand up for the World, for the people I am trying to help. This card provides both a picture of what could be if I shed the limiting belief, and a way out of this belief.
3. Why did this belief become engrained in my mind.
Eight of Coins. Back to work – this confirms my intuition with the Chariot. Although the artisan works alone in his workshop, he is creating for the outside world. I am sure that at times he worries whether the final product will be successful. Will he be able to sell his wares to the citizen of the white castle? They are nobles after all, so they must be right, and their taste must be impeccable. Maybe I believe that other people hold the key to some secret knowledge, are more experienced , or know what is best for me better than I do. Years of repetitive hard work (it is an 8 after all) have engrained this belief in my head.
4. What can I do to erase this as a truth.
Six of Swords. I must embark on a journey of the mind, out of troubled waters. This card has popped up a lot for me recently. The occupants of the boat don’t really known where they are going, they hope they will reach the shore to a better future. As with the Fool, this is a leap of faith. The journey is long (water), and the swords must not all be removed at once or the boat will sink. I need to work on myself and my attitudes slowly, experiment, and be open to the unknown.
5. What will happen as a result.
The King of Wands is the ultimate symbol of authenticity in the Tarot. He stands up for himself. He is in touch with emotions and drive (his hand is on his heart) yet he looks above to an unknown, mysterious future. He has ultimate confidence in his abilities, but unlike the Queen, he outwardly manifests this confidence. This echoes the World – I will be involved with the outside world, possibly teaching or guiding other people. The fire of his passion burns in the background. If I stop seeking other people’s approval, my passions will be reignited, I will be energized.
A card slipped out of the deck after I dealt the spread. Knight of Wands! More energy! I need to ride through the flames (shedding the belief might burn), put my beliefs into action, and deliver my message. This might involve confrontations and fiery arguments, but these are necessary. The Knight is a nudge to reveal my truth and message, whatever reactions I receive. I’m Leo, the Queen of Wands, so the spread represents progression from Knight to King. The process is already in motion (it’s a Knight, not a Page), I just need to keep going on my journey (6 of Swords) to the World! What an exciting Saturday morning message.
Lots of love,